I have no plan for this post. Can you tell how lame I've been not only about writing, but about not being lame, too? My husband came home the other day after 4 days of travel and said, "I've been reading your blog. You know what I noticed? There's not enough talk about ME." And then he said that it was also kind of boring lately. And you know what? He's totally right. YAWNSVILLE. Mayor: me. (But I am the first FEMALE mayor. Let the record show.)
There's nothing about me that ever wants to write the "why I've been a lame blogger" post. I abhor it. And here I am writing it. You know why I hate it so much? Because it's usually a bad excuse post droning on about why the blogger has been slacking in a horrid attempt to get some sympathy from readers so that they stick around in anticipation of the good stuff. Am I right or what? You've either read it or written it or both and you know I'm right.
And here I am thinking: but my excuses are valid! At least...semi-valid. I mean, I'm MOVING in a few weeks. And we're building and buying a house! Do you know how many boxes you have to pack, phone calls you have to field, forms you have to fill out, documents you have to scrounge up and stray nails you have to point out in a process like this? A FREAKIN' LOT. And then some.
And then there's my Super Top Secret Ultra Confidential Project that I've been working on since February and that you probably won't know about until the late fall or early winter but that is the most divine thing and YOU, yes YOU, will love it. If you follow me on Twitter, you can see that I sometimes email about tech start-ups and I'll try to get the attention of some big-time VC's (*cough*Mark Suster*cough). And I ain't just doin' that shit for poo and giggles. Mama's aiming to get some DOUGH for some SERIOUSLY COOL SHIT for PEOPLE LIKE YOU. (Feel free to contact me if you have any contacts or have a spare half a mill sitting around. Ok? Thanks.)
Oh, yes, AND I HAVE A TODDLER. Did you know that having a toddler can occupy you / frustrate you / fascinate you more than a Rubix cube? I've got this thigh-high person in my house who demands HOURS upon HOURS of my day! Now, don't get me wrong, she's probably the coolest, funniest lady in my life so it's not that I give my time begrudgingly, no, I willingly give my time because of the whole "this won't last too long" crap that's shoved down your throat when you're a parent. That AND she's freakin' funny. Did I mention my daughter is funny? She's effin hilarious, yo. Yes, A THIRTEEN MONTH OLD can be that funny. If you are questioning my sanity right now, you are clearly NOT a parent. And you probably get more sleep than I. F you.
So, those things. Those things are my life's trinity at the moment. BUT, even with those things, I have time to get on here and say some shit, you know? You can always squeeze in a post - even if it's just 300 words. And, really, wouldn't you prefer posts 300 words or less ANYWAY?
I've felt a little lately like I've run out of talent, as an ex-friend of mine used to say. Just plain run out of it like you run out of gas except I ran out about 50 miles before the nearest gas station. I've felt a little like my life is boring. Like who wants to hear about my hilarious 13 month old all the time? Like WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THAT ANYONE'LL GIVE A SHIT ABOUT? Or at least laugh about.
Well, I didn't want to go over 600 words on this one. That's kind of the blogging standard, right? Isn't that what we're "told" by various "how to get and keep readers" posts on other blogs that ramble on for 1000 words?
Well, I'm at 701. Shit.